This is the blog of Justin Michael Terwilliger. This is the page where I share my inner most thoughts and feelings. I open up in every way that I can put into words. Words are hard to express at times and it's not always easy to express yourself, but as you can see I certainly try to. Please read avidly and criticize all you wish. These are my thoughts, nobody is to say they are wrong. This is my only blog on Tumblr. For my actual Tumblr profile, go to http://www.justinselsewhere.tumblr.com


All posts here, are my own creations and imaginings unless stated otherwise.
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I can’t recall the past lives I’ve had. I can’t recall the people I’ve met. I can’t recall any memories at all. The only thing I know for sure is I’ve come across one energy in every single lifetime.

The vast reaches of space and the depths of the other side make it clear that we don’t know what’s out there. But I believe that when we die we find that place and it’s all energy. Energy of everything. Energy of the universe itself, intertwined with ours, and we’re all buzzing around it like bees to a hive. Billions upon billions of these energies buzzing around and zooming past one another. I think it’s not much different than the population of a big city, just walking passed one another, seeing faces At swift speeds, but never stopping, never talking, just you and your schedule.

But then you see one specific energy, and it stops you in your tracks. The most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, staring right back at you. You buzz over to it, you study it , you think deeper than you’ve ever thought before and the it hits you, this is the one thing that’s ever made sense . Your energy somehow remembers all the passed lifetimes and you see that you’ve come face to face with this energy every single time you buzz around the hive.

You see that energy for only a few moments, then you’re sucked into the hive and you can’t control it. You’re reborn on this world again, and the journey to find the energy starts over. The journey becomes the most important thing of your short existence because when you find it, you find yourself. You know exactly who you are and it never made sense before. You didn’t know who you were before you find it, but now that you have, everything makes sense. Some aren’t that lucky. Some never find it. But I hope you all do, and if you do, never let it go.

Thank you dream world for reminding me in my sleep.

P.S. There’s a hole in the Earth.

Posted on September 29th, 2014 at 9:08 PM

So i’ve been doing some research on things that will help me get really healthy, and hep me motivate myself to work out again, get into better shape and help with swimming that i’m going to be doing, and through this research i’ve come across some really interesting things, and if you want to read through this, I hop it will help you, like it will help me.

Most people tell themselves that they’re going to get healthy and start eating better and get back to the gym but then they don’t. I’m definitely guilty of this. I think most of us are. But here are some things that can help you feel good, get motivated, and heal your Pineal gland. 

Pineal gland is really important, and I just tarted doing more research about it, mainly because I am trying to be a psychology major, and learn more about the brain, but also because there is a belief that the Pineal gland is responsible for psychic energy, the link between body and soul, and the human link to the other dimensions and worlds. If you belief in these things, like I do, then you want to make sure that your Pineal gland is strong and declassified. As we grow older we use our Pineal gland less, and it eventually is almost non existent and may as well not even be there. This is really sad. 

So onto healthy eating. It is just as important as exercise is. You can exercise all day, but if you’re putting toxins in your body like fast food(which is all toxins) then you’re not going to make any progress. The best things you can put in your body are natural foods, and I know what you’re going to say: “We know that fruits and vegetables are the best thing to eat already.” but what about herbs? If you have a healthy diet consisting of healthy herbs then your Pineal gland and your body are going to be rejuvenated. 

Here is a list of healthy herbs and food that you can eat that taste good and will make you healthier than you have ever been, and not only that, but will make you feel better than you ever have.

Chaga MushroomKing of the Mushrooms- The Chaga mushroom is composed of a dense configuration of antioxidant pigments, distinguishing it from other medicinal mushrooms. Like other superherbs, such as Astragalus membranaceus and Gynostemma pentaphyllum, chaga helps to reduce the workload of the immune system as a whole. Nearly every type of superherb has a different content of saponins and polysaccharides, with each combination helping to boost the activity of our immune cells in different ways—polysaccharide beta glucans molecules match up with a specific type of cell in the immune system, each promoting a different immune response.

Various substances found in chaga possess powerful anti-cancer and anti-tumour properties. Many of chaga’s anti-cancer properties are now being attributed to beta glucans and melanin, as well as to its other vitality- and longevity-inducing medicinal properties. Beta glucans are scientifically recognized as one of the richest, most important forms of healing polysaccharides. Their discovery in the mycelium (netted, brainlike fungal structure) and in the fruiting bodies of medicinal mushrooms has provided insight on the chemistry of how medicinal mushrooms work to heal the human body.

Read more at http://www.themindfulword.org/2012/chaga-medicinal-mushrooms/#I5OxL1pCFo7TUQK0.99

Raw Chocolate- Yes, chocolate can be very very healthy for you. These are just some of the benefits of raw Chocolate.

1) Raw chocolate can lower blood pressure & improve circulation

Flavanols, theobromine, and other components found in cacao may lower blood pressure and enhance circulation by promoting dilation, strength, and health of blood vessels

2) Raw chocolate can promote cardiovascular function & health

The antioxidant power of flavonoids and essential minerals and vitamins found in cacao can support healthy heart functioning5 by lowering blood pressure, improving blood flow, lowering LDL cholesterol, and reducing plaque buildup on artery walls.6

3) Raw chocolate Can Neutralize free radicals

High levels of antioxidants protect the body from a buildup of free radicals from sun exposure, pollution, cigarette smoking, etc., which may damage healthy body tissue giving rise to cancer and cardiovascular disease.

4) Raw Chocolate can improve digestion

A sufficient amount of fiber delivered with each serving of cacao supports digestion while cacao stimulates the body’s production of digestive enzymes.

5) Raw chocolate can enhance physical and mental well-being

There are many components of cacao including alkaloids, proteins, beta-carotene, leucine, linoleic, lipase, lysine, and theobromine, that all work together to improve physical and mental health.  For example, theombromine helps to stimulate the central nervous system, relax smooth muscles, and dilate blood vessels, giving the body a boost of energy;  “bliss” chemicals found in cacao help to increase circulation and availability of serotonin and other neurotransmitters in brain, improving mood and combating depression.

Those are the two I wanted to focus on, but there are of course many many other herbs. Go to the following websites to do more research. These websites are safe, and you can learn more at 

owenfox.org

http://www.higherselfherbs.com/

https://www.mountainroseherbs.com

http://owenfox.org/herb-recommendations.php

DON’T FORGET TO EXERCISE. These herbs and foods are going to help, but exercise is the main thing we all need.

These are good places to start. Good luck everyone. You want your mind and body to be sharp for anything that is to come in the future. Balance yourself out. I’m at the start of my journey, and I hope to share the rest with you all soon.

justinselsewhere:

This is my Great Grandfather. He died July 7th, 2012 from cancer. 
He was the kind of guy that would help guide me, take care of the family, his wife and everyone he loved, first thing, above all else, and definitely before himself. He was in the war so he could have been a bitter old man, like many vets seem to become in their old age, but every time I saw him, he had a smile on his face. He would give you the shirt off of his back in a blizzard and be completely happy knowing he made you a little warmer. 
He took care of my great grandmother when she was diagnosed with Alzheimers and dementia. Because of her medication she would need to get up to go to the bathroom literally every 5 to 10 minutes. While this can and does become frustrating to some, he never complained about it. He always got up and said “Let me help you, babe.” and walked her to the bathroom. 
Even when my great grandmother went to a nursing home, because he being over the age of 80 could not physically take care of her as much as he wanted to, he still went and saw her every day. Multiple times. Sometimes she didn’t remember him, but this didn’t matter to him much, he still remembered her, and boy did he love her. This went on for years.
July 4th, 2012 I got a call from my mother while preparing to go out with some friends. She told me my grandfather was in the hospital and she didn’t know what was going on. I went to the hospital and saw him lying in the bed. I cried because I had never seen the strongest man I had ever known, so weak. He didn’t even look like the same man. He just laid there, unconscious, and we didn’t know if he was ever going to wake up. The doctor came in and told us that he had had cancer for years and never said a word about it to anyone. He was too busy taking care of everyone else that he didn’t take care of himself. He was diagnosed with what the doctor referred to as a “severely aggressive lung cancer.”
The next day, before going to see him, I got his name tattooed on my ankle. When I showed up at the hospital, my aunt, my mother, and my grandmother burst into tears. My aunt said “I never knew how much he meant to Justin. I don’t even like tattoos and it’s beautiful. To know he had such an affect on him means the world to me.”
While this was happening, I went over to my great grandfather and held his hand, I kept silent because I didn’t know what to say. He opened his eyes a little bit, looked me right in the eye and tried to smile. He had a tube sticking down his throat so he could breathe, and he still managed to crack a smile. I told him that I loved him and he shed a few tears and fell back asleep. 
When I had to leave, I was saying goodbye to my family. After, I went and grabbed his hand and told him “I know things are really hard to understand right now, but I love you, and I’ll be back tomorrow.” I kissed him on the forehead and left. While I was leaving I looked to my brother and I said “This is going to be the very last time we see him. I hope you said what you had to say.” to which he replied “We’ll see him tomorrow, dude. Don’t worry.”
He passed away a few hours later.
I will never forget what my great grandfather taught me. He taught me to love everyone, take good care of your family, be a good person no matter what, and always try to find the good in everyone and everything. 
I will never forget you, Papa. I love you with all of my heart. I hope I showed you that when we watched all those baseball games, played catch, and sat around the table talking. I hope I showed you.

justinselsewhere:

This is my Great Grandfather. He died July 7th, 2012 from cancer. 

He was the kind of guy that would help guide me, take care of the family, his wife and everyone he loved, first thing, above all else, and definitely before himself. He was in the war so he could have been a bitter old man, like many vets seem to become in their old age, but every time I saw him, he had a smile on his face. He would give you the shirt off of his back in a blizzard and be completely happy knowing he made you a little warmer. 

He took care of my great grandmother when she was diagnosed with Alzheimers and dementia. Because of her medication she would need to get up to go to the bathroom literally every 5 to 10 minutes. While this can and does become frustrating to some, he never complained about it. He always got up and said “Let me help you, babe.” and walked her to the bathroom. 

Even when my great grandmother went to a nursing home, because he being over the age of 80 could not physically take care of her as much as he wanted to, he still went and saw her every day. Multiple times. Sometimes she didn’t remember him, but this didn’t matter to him much, he still remembered her, and boy did he love her. This went on for years.

July 4th, 2012 I got a call from my mother while preparing to go out with some friends. She told me my grandfather was in the hospital and she didn’t know what was going on. I went to the hospital and saw him lying in the bed. I cried because I had never seen the strongest man I had ever known, so weak. He didn’t even look like the same man. He just laid there, unconscious, and we didn’t know if he was ever going to wake up. The doctor came in and told us that he had had cancer for years and never said a word about it to anyone. He was too busy taking care of everyone else that he didn’t take care of himself. He was diagnosed with what the doctor referred to as a “severely aggressive lung cancer.”

The next day, before going to see him, I got his name tattooed on my ankle. When I showed up at the hospital, my aunt, my mother, and my grandmother burst into tears. My aunt said “I never knew how much he meant to Justin. I don’t even like tattoos and it’s beautiful. To know he had such an affect on him means the world to me.”

While this was happening, I went over to my great grandfather and held his hand, I kept silent because I didn’t know what to say. He opened his eyes a little bit, looked me right in the eye and tried to smile. He had a tube sticking down his throat so he could breathe, and he still managed to crack a smile. I told him that I loved him and he shed a few tears and fell back asleep. 

When I had to leave, I was saying goodbye to my family. After, I went and grabbed his hand and told him “I know things are really hard to understand right now, but I love you, and I’ll be back tomorrow.” I kissed him on the forehead and left. While I was leaving I looked to my brother and I said “This is going to be the very last time we see him. I hope you said what you had to say.” to which he replied “We’ll see him tomorrow, dude. Don’t worry.”

He passed away a few hours later.

I will never forget what my great grandfather taught me. He taught me to love everyone, take good care of your family, be a good person no matter what, and always try to find the good in everyone and everything. 

I will never forget you, Papa. I love you with all of my heart. I hope I showed you that when we watched all those baseball games, played catch, and sat around the table talking. I hope I showed you.

Posted on April 15th, 2014 at 4:30 AM
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Source: justinselsewhere
"Isn’t a person just a collection of their mistakes, and also their, kind of, undoing of their mistakes? I mean, what else are you? You know, you’re always just the reaction to the bad parts of yourself, I think. And I think that’s what is kind of like, a driving motivation behind any human being…who wants to continue to grow and live life. Because they’re looking at their flaws and trying to, go beyond it. And I think that a person, you know, essentially dies when they think that they found themselves, you know? Unless you want to admit that you, yourself, are not an individual, and are just part of a whole movement of ideas, and thought, and culture, and humanity and, furthermore, the universe, and everything. Unless you really feel like that, and you’re walking through walls, You know, you are always trying to find yourself. And it’s usually a person who believes that they’ve found “the answer”, found “the end” that there actually is a psychological end. And then what’s the point of doing anything after that? "
Eyedea
Posted on October 20th, 2013 at 5:31 PM

Reborn.

Reborn.

Posted on September 26th, 2013 at 3:28 AM
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You sit there, in your chair wondering how another day came. “Not tomorrow” you say as you put clothes on your naked flesh, preparing yourself for the day. A day that you wished never came.

You call for a cab to take you away. Take you to the one place that you feel safe and sane. To that little center of the world where you feel nothing can hurt you. To the place that you can think clearly, or not at all. Maybe you’ll think about the boy you loved, the one that died down the street the year before.

You hope for something better but then tell yourself “Nothing possibly can get better” and you just run away. You tell yourself that’s why you drink to excess and smoke a pack a day. No hope.

You try to make it better but then tell yourself it can’t get better and second guess every decision you try to make, and what is this life? Why are you feeling it? You’re your own worst enemy. The only one you can’t defeat.

Face your demons.

Posted on September 26th, 2013 at 1:47 AM
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Hi, my name is Justin. I’m a pretty insignificant being. I’m just a June bug. I live life freely and uncaring. I skitter until Zack Miller or Evan Martin sets me on fire. I fall into a pit of wax, or chocolate and just drown. I’ll drown there and my death is inevitable just like yours. But the thing about it was, it wasn’t a wasted life. It was a care free and simple oneThe simple beauty and love experienced was worth every breath lost in my inevitable end.

Posted on June 26th, 2012 at 3:36 AM
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Tags ~ Me ~ Self ~ Poetry? ~ Poetry ~ Blog

Posted on June 8th, 2012 at 11:10 PM
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Source: justinselsewhere

The lonely sandy mountains were once friends with the deepest seas. Then in one swift night, God cast out his hand and took the oceans away from the mountains. Then the winds came down and blew the sands away. So the sands lost everything. The sands traveled on the wind and eventually set in the dryest desert on Earth. Forever to be scorched by the burning sun. Now I don’t know much about that, but I do know there was purpose and reason behind it. It all comes together in the end. It all comes together for that one perfect moment, suspended in time, as if nothing could touch it.

Posted on May 18th, 2012 at 4:01 PM
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Whoever is hacking into my tumblr and posting gay sex, please stop. I’m not a gay basher l, I don’t hate gay people and I don’t discriminate against someone for a choice that frankly had nothing to do with me. However this is starting to get old and upsetting. So please stop doing it. I work all day. I shouldn’t have to have to come home to deleting a bunch of shit.

Posted on May 14th, 2012 at 1:48 AM